Our Place Community of Hope

To Be or not to Be Dramatic …

This article may be timely as I reckon many deal with Drama Queens or tense Drama on a daily basis. My hope is that some bit of knowledge is applied and / or found useful by the reader.  Recently, I was absorbed in dialogue. I was sharing about and expressing myself to a supportive ear. The awareness and attention from both parties was focused. This event unfolded via a personal request to chat for a bit. I was trying to get some feedback or different perspective on something.

 

As we talked more clarity was added to what I was really asking. The feedback was to be honest and critical, and it was! I was actually seeking some constructive criticism.  It was noticed that when I put forward some input especially while sharing, I seem or tend to focus more on others and hardly on myself. It's not like I've never heard similar feedback before, but this time, it hit me a little more profound. I do share personal bits of information at times with the theme or underlying story dealing with frustration, agitation, anxiety and mood swings, but this current feedback echoed within me as if some words had struck a chord.

I will not say my paradigm shifted, but a seed was planted towards a view that had just started to a new dawn. I can't tell you how that "a-ha" moment felt, when I could see and notice the pattern too. In not so many words my problem was localizing or being grounded.

Perhaps, the passion for my Mission/Dream of being “Page” the I.N.R.I. Universal Helper is corrupted. I don’t know, but I will reconsider the feedback and go on with the flow. This does not change the fact that I strive to live in PEACE by the Golden Rule, to not harm with words and deeds, and to pray to be honored with TRUTH.  

A little while later after this event or productive meet, just like magic some information appeared before me, like synchronicity the Most High provides.      

I became aware of a couple of concepts or models. These 2 models form a pragmatic tool if applied to a situation or condition. One model explains a pattern of victimhood while the other is its’ counter. The counter is able to take you from a negative to a more positive condition. The 2 models I looked into were: (D.D.T.) The Dreadful Drama Triangle by Dr. Stephen  Karpman as conceived in 1960. Himself being an actor noticed similarities between acting roles and what happens in real life. Imagine the big silver screen, the movie begins, the moving / motion pictures unfold dramatic stories that keep the attention, What do you see? What do hear? Once you choose to pay … attention! Your senses can be manipulated and can easily tug at and program your emotions for desired effect. 

The other concept or model is called (T.E.D.) The Empowerment Dynamic. This was put forth by David Emerald as possible fix or counter for D.D.T. This model replaces the roles in the drama triangle with roles that help in getting out of the victimhood mentality.

The drama triangle pattern of Victim, Persecutor (Villain) and Rescuer seems to drive the narrative. This same pattern or model of roles can actually embed into our true personal experiences. The roles are not static and because they are dynamic we can often take on any one of them. The triangle helps 

to explain the narratives created by the Victim, (Villain) and hero. I use the understanding of the dreaded drama triangle as a tool to assess the present condition or situation. Nobody likes drama but sometimes I think Shakespeare was right about the world being a stage and we all are mere actors.

To counter the Dreaded Drama Triangle we have The Empowerment Dynamic model. The Victim role becomes a Creator role which empowers towards a positive change.  The Persecutor/Villain role becomes a Challenge/r role which enables the actor to rise to the occasion with courage, remembering that even in failure there is also much to be gained as far as learning goes.

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The Rescuer role is replaced with a Coach/Teacher role. Rescuing can be exhausting in many ways, be it physical, emotional and even intellectually, hence it’s best to teach victims to how to fish instead of giving them a daily fish. The feedback from the staff member of Our Place - Community of Hope was truly beneficial and will be a work in progress towards a more positive change in my life. I will exercise more assertively on decreasing my passive and aggressive tendencies. I need to be aware of my tendencies or M.O. (Modus Operandi – Mode of Operation)
 
My personal take away from the event or meet has been that, I need to watch and catch myself falling into the rescuer role and learn to coach myself first. I like the analogy  Peter Carter, the writers’ workshop facilitator used. Peter  said “It’s like when oxygen masks drop in flying planes, for safety, first they go on you then you can help others”.

All games learned to play have rules, once known how to play, the rules can be changed.  I'm not saying that life is a game, but it's not difficult to notice patterns, if bad change them for better if not best. From the beginning Pattern has been and matter just unfolds and evolves according. It is so beautiful and Harmonious to me how the Creator creates creation and all its’ creatures with creativity to be fruitful and multiply. Ladies and Gentlemen, Page sharing a possible tool for your personally driven Resurrection!

by Pedro Vallejo a.k.a. “Page” - 2019 

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